When I was talking to Chris the other day I told him that I never get my to-do list done. Does that ever happen to you? I couldn't tell if he even cared when I said that because he was silent.
This month has been filled with nearly every emotion possible for us. We had days of celebration, like when we found out that Goose is getting B's in her math classes. But then there was the terrifying day when Kitty wanted to kill herself. I wish I could slow down the happier days and just fast forward past the bad ones. But like most families we get through them all and are still plugging away at the daily tasks in our life.
Right now I am sitting here on the big brown chair in our living room just soaking in the silence while I imagine that the rest of this month being a little slower. Little Bear is taking his nap a little earlier than usual and the other four are at school. I can hear the distant hum of a car travelling down Westport Ridge. Looking out my window i see the yellowing fall leaves of the maple tree gracefully fall to the ground in the breeze. Wouldn't it be nice to just be a leaf? For just one day I want to know what it feels like to be carried by a fall wind. If I were a leaf I could escape all my stress and anxiety. I wouldn't have to worry about what I am fixing for dinner or whether or not Monkey and Bear are going to sleep in their own beds tonight. I wouldn't have to think about when I am going to get those dishes done or how long it is going to take the little ones to mess up my clean living room.
For now I will soak up this quiet time while it lasts. I will close my eyes and imagine October just a little slower.