I love being a mom and I especially love having five children. I would not change anything for the world. Each one of my kids are special, unique and bring me joy every single day. There is never a dull moment in my home and every day brings new surprises. But recently I have come to realize that raising five children also takes my time and attention away from other activities that I enjoy.
As their mother it is my responsibility to make sure that the home that they live in is neat, tidy and safe. I must pay attention to each and every one of my children. Attend their school conferences, help them with homework, serve them healthy meals, pray with them and give them plenty of hugs and kisses.
On Thursday and Friday I had a terrible migraine headache. I usually get them once or twice a month and they can last up to 2-3 days at a time. I was in so much pain and I desperately wanted to hide in a quiet, dark room and rest. But I couldn't. My children needed me.
I ranted about my headache on Facebook. At the same time someone else in my facebook news feed also had a migraine. This person only has two children and was able to lay down and rest. For a minute I was a little jealous. Then I realized that I shouldn't be jealous. God blessed me with a very fulfilling life as a mother of five little ones.
I need to set aside my desires and wants and sacrifice a little for them. I also get a little jealous when I read blogs from moms who either have just a couple of kids or all their kids are in school and they are home all day long. These bloggers are able to spend hours during the day reading and commenting on other blogs. They have twitter followers that surpass 20K or more. And the worst part is they boast about it on their blogs. Some of these women have been blogging just as long as I have and some have newer blogs than mine.
Accepting the fact that I just do not have as much time on my hands as them is so difficult for me. Maybe my life is more exciting than theirs. And maybe it isn't. I should not be concerned about numbers, subscribers and page views. But some nights I lay in bed awake worrying.
Yes I want to be one of those bloggers with over 200,000 subscribers, 60K page views a day, and thousands of twitter followers. But my time is committed to my kids and my husband.
Currently I have two blogs, a social network and a media site designed to bring in advertisers. I have high hopes for 2014, but the numbers just are not there. Maybe I took on too much this year or maybe I just shouldn't give up yet.